Here at the Healthy Hen House, we have two chicks, a boy and girl. We don’t focus too much on “traditional” gender roles – we just let our kids be kids and see how their interests shake out. Before having kids, I thought children fell into gender roles based more on “nurture” than “nature,” particularly in a consumer oriented society where boys get pelted with guns and girls get sprinkled with pixie dust. Now, I’m swinging towards “nature” a lot more. As our girl started to grow, she got a bit of everything when it came to books, toys, and games we played. We would wrestle, read Cinderella, gather bugs, play “dress up,” play catch, you name it. All options were on the table. But over time, she really started gravitating towards the world of princesses. Now, life is all about Tinkerbell’s fairy dust, butterflies and flowers. The natural “girl” has fully emerged despite exposure to a wide range of activities and toys.

Same with our boy, who naturally gravitates to pirates and swords despite a pretty content neutral start to his life. He followed behind his big sister by a few years, so as he started to grow he naturally did things she did. She had really started her princess phase, so he would sometimes put on a dress or wear some pretty necklaces. But “nature” always seemed to surface even in that context: He would come running out to mom and dad in a dress, accessorized to the nines, but with a sword. He would growl, flex some muscle, and proceed to beat me down with his sword because I was the “bad pirate” and he was the “pirate princess.” Now, despite our acceptance of whatever the kids do, he is fully into “pirate” mode, sans dress. The natural “boy” has surfaced despite walking for some time in his big sister’s footsteps.

Now, don’t get me wrong, they do still cross over from time to time. My little butterfly princess pulls out her “blade” wings from time to time and whacks me (the goblin) pretty darn good. Similarly, my boy doesn’t always want me to be the bad pirate – sometimes he wants us both to be good and to do a little hugging in lieu of beating me down. So which is it, exactly, nature or nurture? I’m sure it is some of both, but my pendulum is definitely swinging more towards nature. How about you?