I know quite a few people who are about to have babies, and occasionally one of them will ask me for advice on one thing or another. That got me thinking, what’s the best advice to give new parents that they won’t find in a book? I’ve got a few tips, but I’d like you to offer your best pearl of wisdom, too!

1. Watch the stairs! We have a flight of stairs in our house, and they have never been a problem for me with two glaring exceptions. Within a few weeks of having each of my two kids, I fell down hard- once while carrying the baby! I didn’t find out the reason until later, but here’s the scoop: When a woman is pregnant, she gets a little bigger everyday. Her center of gravity shifts a great deal, but it’s gradual so not a big deal. However, when the baby is born, her center of gravity changes VERY RAPIDLY and she can be clumsy, especially on stairs. So be extra cautious for a while!
2. Pick an expert source and stick with it! If you have a question about development or child rearing and you check two books and ask two friends for advice, you will get four different answers. It’s better to decide ahead of time whose advice you will take. For example, I read all sorts of things about cold medicines, vaccines and first aid while my firstborn was a baby, but we decided that we trusted our pediatrician on those things. Of course, for serious medical concerns or developmental delays, second opinions from experts are invaluable. But for everyday baby stuff, pick a relative, friend or doctor you trust for advice.
3. Understand percentiles. I’ve met several people who are offended by the fact that pediatricians use percentiles, as if it were a measure of your child’s worth! But really, they can be a useful guideline. With children (as with adults) there is a large range of “normal.” A newborn who weighs six pounds is normal, but so is a newborn who weighs ten pounds- but four pounds is a big difference! The reason pediatricians use percentiles is to track an individual child’s progress. For example, if your baby is consistently in the 20th percentile, then dips to the 5th percentile, that may indicate that she is ready for solid foods. If your older child is usually in the 50th percentile but then jumps to 80th, you may need to evaluate his diet. It doesn’t mean, however, that since your baby is in the 20th percentile and mine is in the 50th, clearly I have a healthy, strong kid and you have a wimp! So don’t take percentiles personally.
4. Bring meals to other new parents! If you are about to have a baby and also know others in the same situation, bring them a meal when their babies are born. It’s a wonderful thing to be an exhausted new parent and have a lovely meal show up at your door. And it doesn’t have to be homemade- takeout is very welcome! It’s a great thing to do for your neighbors, friends and family, and if you are lucky they will reciprocate when your little one arrives!

So those are my top not-in-the-books tips for new moms and dads. What are some things you would add? Please leave a comment!

(Photo Credit: Nevit Dilman, 2000)